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Your Extra Hour

by Talitha Arnold

So what are you going to do with your extra hour?

You know—the extra hour we get the first weekend of November
when Daylight Savings Time ends and we “fall back” to Standard Time.
A full hour of free time on a Saturday evening or Sunday morning—
what a gift!

Of course, we’ll “lose” the hour next spring when we start
Daylight Savings again. But right now, what are you going to do with
the gift of those extra sixty minutes?

Because that extra hour is a gift. In fact, all time is a gift, going
all the way back to the beginning of creation. In Genesis, after God calls
forth light, God then set the great lights in the heavens—the sun to rule
the day, the moon to bless the night. God creates the days and the
seasons, and at the end of it all, God creates the Sabbath day—the
“Cathedral of Time,” as the great Jewish theologian Abraham Heschel
called it.

So what are you going to do with your extra hour the first
weekend of November?

We pay attention to time in the church. There’s the practical
aspect of making sure worship starts on time, keeping meetings within
time limits, getting the newsletter out on time. But as people of faith, our
relationship with time goes far beyond the practical. We set aside time to
mark special times in human life, from birth to death. We acknowledge
the passing of time, as when a child starts first grade or leaves childhood
to start adolescence.

Moreover, the church keeps time differently than the world
around us. We begin the “church year” with Advent, a month before
New Year’s Day. The liturgical seasons of Epiphany or Lent seldom
coincide with actual months like December or March. Some seasons
have specific lengths—twelve days of Christmas, forty days of Lent,
fifty dates of Eastertide. But Epiphany and Pentecost stretch from weeks
to months.

Time in the church gets confusing at times. As people of faith,
we always live in two different time zones—world time and faith time.
World time is “kronos” time—chronological time defined by the ticking
of the clock or the numbers on a digital watch. Faith time is “kairos”
time (from a word meaning “fullness of time’). Kairos time is measured
not by the passing of time, but by the fullness of time. Not by minutes,
but by meaning.

We are in kairos time when, no matter what we are doing, we
are aware of God’s presence in that moment. Kairos time is time filled
with God’s hope and love, or perhaps simply with the fullness of God’s
breath.

May this month’s extra hour be a kairos hour for each of us.

No matter how we spend it, may we realize that hour is a gift—just like
every hour is. Indeed, may all November be a kairos month. No matter
what happens, may we trust that God is still present in our time and in
this world. And in this kairos time, may we be fully present to God, one
another, and this world.

Five Reasons I Believe Hate Will Not Win the 2018 Midterm Election

by Teresa Blythe

In the last few days the pre-midterm-election rhetoric and divisiveness have ramped up. I found it pretty depressing until I took some time to check in with what I truly believe. I hope this blog post will inspire you to do the same.

Here are five reasons I believe hate will not win on November 6.

  1. There are more kind people than hateful ones in our nation.

The hatemongers seem to get a lot of airtime, but overall, most Americans are kind, compassionate and desirous of a more civil political culture. From all the polls I’ve seen, more people are turned off than energized by hateful speech. That looks good for the midterm ahead.

  1. The kind people are tired of being lied to. They are fired up and motivated to vote.

There’s no way to sugarcoat it. Our president tells so many lies it has become what we now expect of him. People who care about truth and integrity are motivated to vote for a balance of power on November 6. Even many Republicans are horrified at the casual way Donald Trump tells lies and how he cares only about one thing: gaining power.

  1. Our nation was founded on resistance to authoritarianism.

We have a long history of bucking anyone or any political power that tries to bully us or our neighbors into submission. We threw off British authority and then fought a civil war to dismantle the evil practice of slavery. We don’t like bullies and are prepared to resist them at every turn.

  1. Kind and compassionate people will never give in or give up.

Love has staying power. Collectively we will keep up resistance to oppression. Even if it takes the next generation to win hearts over, we will keep up the good fight. And we will continue to believe that love will win over hate — in the long run.

  1. There is no place for hate to hide anymore.

It is so important that those of us who value kindness, mercy and compassion not lose hope. One way I am fighting discouragement is to remember these five truths when I get down. It may feel like our country is headed toward a nightmare of authoritarianism, but in reality we can stop the worst of it in its tracks.

That is, if we vote in the midterm for people who share our values on November 6.

Voting as a Spiritual Discipline

by Karen Richter

One of the core purposes of spiritual practice is to remember who we are.

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
    the moon and the stars that you have established;
 what are human beings that you are mindful of them,
    mortals that you care for them?
 
Yet you have made them only slightly less than divine,
    and crowned them with glory and honor.
~ Psalm 8

We struggle to remember our worth: a little lower than the angels. We struggle to remember our humble embodiment: to dust we shall return. Sometimes we experience both sides of this tension moment by moment in a single day!

Humble and as temporary as the grass… and yet.

Of infinite worth, in the image of Creative Mystery… and yet.

So, vote next week if you haven’t already.

Voting as a Spiritual Discipline by Karen Richter, Southwest Conference United Church of Christ

Vote? What? Maybe this feels like a leap. Maybe I’m reaching (picture in your mind my family and friends nodding vigorously). Electing leaders is a tremendous task. The voting booth is holy ground, an acknowledgement of our respect for democracy, a nod to our common humanity and our shared citizenship responsibilities. And yet… my little vote is one of millions, the proverbial drop in a bucket. Voting is a way to remember who we are. Of course, we vote prayerfully. Of course, we vote our values as people of faith. But the act of voting itself – participating in the ground of our communal life – can call us to balance between our humanness and our divine source.

I’ve heard our General Minister and President Rev. Dr John Dorhauer describe the United Church of Christ as a truly democratic institution. So maybe on November 6, instead of rocking the vote, we can sacred the vote.

Do you think the poll workers will scold me if I kick my shoes off before going into my voting booth?

A Prayer for Today:

God of Hopeful Tomorrows – Renew our faith in voting. Strengthen our fight to honor the rights of all. Set fire in our hearts a vision of our communities, state, and nation united in compassion and action. Walk with us into the voting booth and then out into the world. Amen.

10 Sacred Things ~ A Short-and-Sweet Life Giving Practice

by Karen Richter

I’m participating in a webinar this month with Spiritual Directors International on social justice spiritual direction. The first session was great, and I’m expecting to learn lots.

Part of this first week’s discussion was on liberating spiritual practices and the “anatomy” of a social justice spiritual director. One of these practices was new to me and I wanted to share it with you all. It’s quick and involves list making which are both pluses for me!

Make a list of ten things that are sacred to you today.

Yep, that’s it. Here’s my list from earlier this week.

  1. Mountains
  2. Water
  3. Listening
  4. Singing
  5. Back Rubs (especially for my sweet children)
  6. Sexuality and touch
  7. Friendship
  8. Sharing Food
  9. Prayer and Movement
  10. Ritual

This took me about five minutes… the first seven things came super fast, but then I had to think a bit for last two or three. I looked at my scribbled list and felt good about it. Now it’s a bit later and I’m looking again at 10 Things and noticing.

  • I would have different things to list today: breathing, bird watching, patient waiting, experiences of flow, resistance, and sacrifice. Every day has its own gifts.
  • There’s less of a differentiation between sacred time and everyday moments than my calendar would lead me to expect. It’s a potential problem for churchy people like me… We get focused on Sunday and miss the sacredness of tea brewing on a random Tuesday. In our achievement-oriented culture, we rush through moments of human connection to cross things off of very different kinds of lists.
  • My list calls me to spirituality basics: gratitude and paying attention.

And finally, I’m feeling some questions bubbling up. How different would my life look if I allowed myself to be guided by a list of what’s sacred? Could I say No more often to things that keep me separated and unfocused? Could I say Yes more frequently to peace, connection, and love? When there are days that feel like I’m spinning my wheels and getting nowhere fast, can I recognize sacred moments and show myself (and others) much needed grace?

Will you make a list today? What will you notice? I invite you to share your list (or a portion thereof) on the SWC Facebook page as a comment on this post or to share your list in whatever way feels affirming to you.

Please use the hashtag #10sacredthings.

Praying for Our Enemies

by Teresa Blythe

If we are to love our enemies, as Jesus emphatically taught, we ought to keep them in our prayers. It’s the last thing many of us want to do these days.

Who is my enemy?

People who strive to be good don’t like to think we have enemies. Your enemy is someone who is working against you; someone who does not have your best interest at heart; perhaps someone who hurt you and shows no remorse. Part of being human is admitting that, yes, we are holding some grudges against certain people for how they treat us. Even if we don’t like the term “enemy,” we probably do have one or two! It’s easier to ignore those who we might label enemy than to hold them in the presence of God as we pray or meditate.

Do you pray for your enemies?

Have you done any deep spiritual work around loving and praying for enemies? If not, the first step might be to simply ask God to assist you in compassion for them. Jesus loved to pray, so if you are a Jesus follower, why not ask him to pray in you or teach you to pray for those who hurt or rebuke you?

I’m one of those who likes to pretend I have no enemies, therefore, I don’t need to pray for them! And then I look at the news and get so angry at politicians who try to take away affordable health care or I fume about men who sexually harass women. So, yes, I need to pray more for my enemies.

A Prayer Practice to Experiment With

When Donald Trump first became president, I struggled with how to love and pray for political leaders who I feel do not have my best interest at heart. I wrestled with how to create a prayer practice that holds our political leaders — even those I would vote against or work to unseat (maybe especially those) — in the light of God’s presence. At the time I was reading a classic book on Christian healing, “The Healing Light” by Agnes Sanford and she suggested that when we feel overwhelmed by evil or tragedy in the world, pick one person or one situation and pray for that rather than trying to pray for everything that’s going on.

And so I did. I chose one powerful national political leader that I find distasteful (a member of the House of Representatives) and began to pray for him. I chose one who speaks frequently of his Christian faith so I thought maybe, hopefully, he will be open to the transformation that we all need to lower the temperature on this nation’s polarization.

I’ve seen no great transformation in him since I began this prayer, but I do see a change in me. I now see this politician as a person — a troubled person — and one that is in a difficult position. Like my Buddhist friends, I pray “May he be happy, healthy and at peace.”

Another Practice to Try

When you want to believe “a change is gonna come” but are having trouble visualizing it on a national or global level, try asking the Divine — and trusting the Divine — to bring “all good things and all good people to work together” for the good of all. Process theology teaches us that God is constantly weaving our gifts and passions together for God’s purposes, and the more we open ourselves to what God is calling us to do or be, the more we become a part of the process of change.

It can be overwhelming to look around at enemies and consider what they are saying and doing. Finding ways to pray for them may feel futile at first, but it’s transformative work. It’s a way of maintaining hope in the face of chaos.

How do you pray for your enemies?

Lessening Your Footprint

by Jocelyn Emerson

One of the things that continually comes to mind when I contemplate stewardship of God’s Creation is “the size of my footprint.”  How much does my way of living impact the Earth?  What is my responsibility to lessen that impact for my descendants?

Avenger’s Age of Ultron:

After defeating Ultron, the Avengers come together at Tony Stark’s (Iron Man) new headquarters in Upstate NY somewhere.  Tony, Captain America and Thor are debriefing, chatting and joking around as they walk.  Thor must leave and go in search of the Infinity Stones (prelude to Infinity War) and learn what he can about them.

Once outside, he holds us his hammer calling the Bifrost (the rainbow bridge).  The Bifrost picks him up and takes him way, leaving its intricate mark on the ground — a huge circle that destroys the lawn beneath it.

Tony Stark (jokingly) to Captain America:  That man has no regard for lawn maintenance…. (walking away) I’m going to miss him though…

What size footprint do you leave?
The Bifrost leaves quite a huge footprint on the ground of where ever it picks Thor up.  The ground underneath is ruined by the power of the Bifrost’s rainbow bridge.  It creates a symbol that reminds me of a cross between Celtic cross and a crop circle.

This conversation between Tony Stark and Captain America made me laugh.  Yet, it brought forth in my heart the question: what size footprint do I leave?

In the eco-justice circle of thought and dialogue, we hear that question often.  How can you lessen your footprint?  There is tremendous encouragement to lessen it as much as possible.

Those lists of how you can lessen your footprint sometimes feel overwhelming.

Easy:
When I look I already do the easy things:  recycle everything I can, have a chemical free house, buy organic and fair trade foods, use more ecological light bulbs, etc.

Moderate:
I also already do many of the moderate tasks:  I carry my own bags rarely using plastic bags, lessen the use of plastic in my life, walk to destinations that are close enough instead of driving, etc.  These require me to be more conscious.  They are not always habits.  Many of them require more of my time and awareness.

Expert:
Then there is the list that always feels like if I put my energy there it will take quite a bit of effort.  It feels like the expert level of lessening my footprint.  It is the list that requires commitment! as well as resources to accomplish:  no-waste, alternative power like solar and wind, hybrid cars, eco-homes, etc.

I get the importance of lessening our footprints.  As the human race has grown we have dominated the planet, maybe even overwhelmed it.  In urban and suburban areas it can be challenging to find open space, let alone green space.  Cities are allowing developers to create housing where there were once parks.  Forests are being encroached upon.  Wildlife habitats are disappearing as human require more and more space.

We do need to lessen our footprints in order to allow all the other beings on this planet to continue to have homes, to continue to thrive.

Taos, NM and lessening my footprint:
When I lived in Taos for nine months, I decided to see how much I could lessen my footprint.  Since I was on sabbatical, working on my business, I decided that I had the time to see how close I could get to zero waste living.

I will totally admit it took a great deal of my attention and time.  I had to make conscious choices about what I bought at the grocery store:  could I recycle that container?

Styrofoam containers
Styrofoam presented the greatest challenge and ask me to make changes in how I did things.  Because most grocery stores sell meat in styrofoam, I thought I might have to become vegetarian again.  However, I found that the local health food store had a butcher and I could buy my meat wrapped in paper (recyclable).

Styrofoam did require me to change my habits about eating out.  I had to begin to bring with me my own “take home” containers when I went to restaurants, just in case there contains were styrofoam.

Buy local and bulk
I joined the local Taos Co-Op and learned all about bulk food buying.  Investing in glass containers meant that I was making choices about how I spent my money.  I had to sacrifice other areas so that I could afford the glass.

Compost
I began a compost pile on the Land I was staying on, caring for it regularly.  I learned that, because I backed up to desert wilderness, the animals were quite happy to feast on that pile.  That felt good!  I was not wasting food, I was feeding the wildlife.

By the time I left, I had my trash down to one tiny bag a month. This experiment taught me how my choices affect this planet.  How I chose to use my time and energy is one of the foundations of stewardship of creation.  The greatest impact we have on our immediate environment is how we chose to use our time and resource to care for our property, land, water, etc.

Commitment
Lessening my footprint required commitment.  There were days when I was exhausted.  In those moments that “I don’t care” feeling arose in my body and spirit.  It was asking me: how committed am I to this experiment, to this lessen in stewardship?  Each time it arose in me, I had to deepen and strengthen my level of commitment.

Currently, I am not able to be anywhere as close to zero-waste as I was in Taos.  Because of this experience, my heart yearns for me to be in living situation where I can step back into the experiment again.  Although this experience required focus, commitment, energy, shifting in how I do things, giving up habits, etc; it deepened my connection to Mother Earth!  I desire to bring that disciple back into my life.

All that Spirit asks of us is that we become conscious of how we live on Mother Earth, on God’s creation.  Spirit invites us to contemplate ways to be more aligned, more in partnership with the web-of-life so that we feel Her presence in all that we do.

Reflection questions:
What is the size of your footprint?
How can you lessen it, even a tiny bit?
What habits would you need to change?
How do you use your resources to protect and care for the environment?

Prayer:
We call on your mercy and your grace, O God, to carry us into a new communion with the created order.  Pour your compassion and your forgiveness over us.  Give us a vision of healing and togetherness for your entire world.  We know that, with Christ as our helper, we can restore justice and balance and live in harmony with all that you have made.

“No One Cares About Crazy People” Spotlights Our Fractured Mental Health System and One Family’s Battle with Schizophrenia

guest post by Kathryn Andrews, a member of the Southwest Conference’s Widening the Welcome Committee and Desert Palm United Church of Christ

“What if you raised a child who grew up sunny, loved, and loving, perhaps unaccountably talented, a source of family joy, only to watch that child slowly transform in adolescence into a mysterious stranger, shorn of affect, dull of gaze, unresponsive to communication – and perhaps worse?” This is one of wrenching questions author Ron Powers asks in “Nobody Cares About Crazy People,” the story of his schizophrenic sons.

The book is more than a chronicle of one family’s struggle with a serious mental illness. It also serves as an indictment of our national approach to dealing (or not dealing) with mental illness. As Powers recounts, mental hospitals began to appear in the early 19th century, including Philadelphia Hospital, which charged admission to view the insane residents in its basement. In 1841, Quaker Dorthea Dix discovered that violent criminals were sharing jail cells with persons with mental illness in Massachusetts. She devoted the rest of her life to lobbying for dedicated care outside of the penal system, and by 1890 thirty-two new asylums were in place. Yet even with these reforms, individual care and treatment at the overflowing asylums was hard to come by.

President Kennedy took steps to address this overburdened system by signing the Community Mental Health Act (“CMHA”). The legislation, crafted in consultation with psychiatrists and health executives, was aimed at releasing 560,000 patients from state-run asylums to 1,500 new community health centers around the country. The hope was that new “wonder drugs” like Thorazine would enable this population to navigate the outside world and become productive. The CMHA liberated 430,000 patients by 1980, but a combination of factors thwarted the transition to community care.

Over the ensuing decades, budget pressures diverted funds that could have supported the CMHA centers. Meanwhile, Congress passed the Medicaid act, which prohibited federal reimbursement to states for psychiatric patients in state hospitals. The act’s objectives were to encourage patient release from such institutions and to prod the states to assume responsibility for care and treatment costs. The states, however, showed little interest in taking the reins. Without the community follow-up care envisioned by the CMHA, many became chronically ill, homeless, or incarcerated. The upshot was that many of these persons did not become “de-institutionalized” but rather traded one institution for another as the U.S. penal system replaced the mental hospital.

Although American mental health care remains haphazard and chaotic, Powers takes heart from the progress made in researching the causes and treatments of mental illnesses. New research has identified 128 gene variants likely to be involved in the abnormal brain development seen in schizophrenics. The research also reflects that environmental factors likely influence the onset and degree of the disease. Meanwhile, advances are occurring in magnetic resonance imaging, and psychotropic medicines can regulate serotonin and dopamine, which affect behavior.

As the Powers family learned too late, some antipsychotic medicines can be taken by the “depot” method of periodic injection. This method eliminates the need for self-administered oral dosages and ensures consistent medication. This consistency becomes critical when a patient develops “anosognosia,” the false conviction that nothing is wrong with the patient’s mind. Anosognosia caused one Powers son to abandon his medications and end his life just shy of his 21st birthday. The other son survived and lives near his parents.

For the author, the future of mental health care for his surviving son and others with mental illness, “will depend upon whether Americans can recognize that their psychically troubled brothers and sisters are not a threat to communities but potential partners with communities for not only their own but their community’s regeneration. . .. The mentally ill people in our lives, as they strive to build healthy, well-supported, and rewarding lives for themselves, can show us all how to reconnect with the most primal of human urges, the urge to be of use, disentangling from social striving, consumer obsession, cynicism, boredom, and isolation, and honoring it among the true sources of human happiness.”

Debts, Trespasses, Sins…??? The Language of Liturgy

by Jim Cunningham

We have done much to update the language of worship to be more inclusive, more contemporary. I was counseled to think of the visitor who has little or no experience in Christian worship – like… print out the Lord’s Prayer! I remember the young adult who asked me, “what is a hymn?” We might add… “Doxology, Gloria Patri, Eucharist, Collect, Sermon, Sacrament, Communion, etc.

Touching the language of the traditional Lord’s Prayer can be an especially explosive issue! Still, many have at least given members the option of “Father, Mother, Creator, Spirit, or some other sacred address. Some have changed or discussed changing “lead us not into temptation” questioning the theology – even the Pope has spoken to this. The congregation I attend is led to read, “let us not fall into temptation.”

I did convince one congregation to move from “debts” to “sin.” Still, what does “sin” mean to those not familiar with church history or tradition?

I wonder how Jesus would word this prayer if alive in our time? Perhaps we should challenge our members to each give this a try. I think the resulting discussion would be most interesting.

I did preach about the Lord’s Prayer as a transitional preacher just before moving to Phoenix in March. I ended the sermon with my contemporary rewrite. I was pleased and impressed with the interest and thoughtful response from many in the congregation. Several shared their own rewrite of the Lord’s Prayer the following Sunday. On my last Sunday, the placemats for lunch were pictures of my ministry and a copy of the Lord’s Prayer version I wrote.

Here is my thinking as of today. I invite you to share your own contemporary rewrite of the Lord’s Prayer.

Sacred Spirit, Creator, the Mystery within all and beyond all.
Your vision for life and creation be realized now.
Give us this day what we need to live fully and faithfully in the moment.
Forgive us when we have been disrespectful,
As we forgive others who have been disrespectful.
Grant us wisdom and strength to resist evil.
We live in your Presence and Love, forever. Amen.

Getting Started with Our Whole Lives

by Karen Richter

Does your congregation have an Our Whole Lives program for children or adults? Have you thought about it but aren’t sure where to start?

Our Whole Lives (often abbreviated OWL) is a holistic, factual, and values-based set of human sexuality curricula designed and supported jointly by the Unitarian Universalist Association and the United Church of Christ. And OMG…it’s so awesome. Positive and affirming sexuality education is like the Gospel – it’s Good News!

As an Our Whole Lives facilitator and trainer, I see the bedrock of OWL like this: Sexuality is a gift from a loving Creator. Shadow Rock folks have heard me use this language: “When we say that God loves everybody, that means God loves Every Body!” Even when the program is presented as a secular educational opportunity, this life-giving mindset comes through.

Our Whole Lives “angel tree” helps Shadow Rockers feel connected to our OWL program and fills our cabinets with necessary supplies.
Our Whole Lives “angel tree” helps Shadow Rockers feel connected to our OWL program and fills our cabinets with necessary supplies.

 

Want to think about this a bit more? Here are some places to start:

  • Karen’s Our Whole Lives YouTube playlist
    These are not official Our Whole Lives videos, but they can help you start thinking in an OWL-ish kind of way.
  • Facilitator Training
    You can see upcoming training on the UCC’s OWL pages.
    Shadow Rock will host secondary level training (grades 7-9 and 10-12) in November. The training weekend is a great experience – intense and formative – even if you don’t have plans to lead the curriculum immediately.
  • Do some reading! For children, I recommend Robie Harris’s series and Corey Silverberg’s fantastically inclusive What Makes a Baby. For adults, check out Christopher Ryan’s Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships. My favorite read of 2018 so far is Sonya Renee Taylor’s The Body is Not an Apology.
  • Reflect a bit on your own sexuality education. What was good about it? What was missing? What are your hopes and dreams for your own children or for the children in your neighborhood and community?
  • Let’s talk! There are very few things that I am more enthusiastic about than Our Whole Lives. If you’re in central AZ, let’s have coffee. If you’re not, shoot me an email and let’s find a time to chat.

Our Whole Lives is a gift TO the United Church of Christ and a gift FROM the United Church of Christ. Let’s make the most of it!

Karen Richter serves on the Board of the Southwest Conference United Church of Christ and is an All-Levels Approved Our Whole Lives Trainer and Facilitator. You can get in touch with Karen via email karen@shadowrockucc.org.

Baby Wisdom

by Davin Franklin-Hicks

Our survival in this life is contingent on how we understand our basic needs. Living is the practice of meeting these needs. Our ability to meet those needs changes as we change. We complicate this extraordinarily well throughout our lives.

We have needs.
We come into this world, screaming and demanding .
Those cries from the newborn beckon us to help them survive.
Their cries beg for food, warmth and safety. And so it starts.

We seem to lose the understanding of our own needs as we grow older. We get conditioned in all sorts of ways as we live. The further we get away from the day we were born, the less we seem able to tolerate our own neediness. We judge it.

It hurts my heart when I witness someone embarrassed to admit that they have a need. We cast shame on people for needing and for expressing that need.  Some even taunt others about it. “You don’t have to be such a big baby about it.”

In an effort to be “less of a baby” about it, we begin to push away the awareness that our own needs exist and forget that it’s crucial to have these needs met. We deny our needs and that usually comes out sideways in our living.

We work against our own survival at times because we don’t want to be vulnerable and we don’t want to be rejected. We do not want to have needs that we cannot meet on our own. We want self sufficiency and for others to view us as strong.

So we…
…starve ourselves.
…gamble away our security and safety.
… make choices that leave us out in the cold.

And we sprinkle all of that with a nice dose of shame and loneliness.

In our living, we often focus on the weight of need and it can be burdensome. If that’s where we are focused, we miss the true life-affirming part of need.

When we were babies, completely reliant on others, we learned something each time we had a need met: It’s not our needs alone that make us human, it’s the never being alone in our need that truly helps us live.

In our most vulnerable moments, we may desperately want to deny our needs even exist. We may want to hide the evidence of our humanity. I hope we do that less and less as we grow.

And I sincerely hope we will be big babies about it.