faith – Page 3 – Southwest Conference Blog

I think I’m a little strange…

“Let us now confess our sin…”

This is from [the 3/13/2022] worship service, as the introduction to our time of confession. I think this time each week is so important, so critical, so potentially powerful! I love it. For myself. And for our community. And yes, I know–I’m a little strange that way… But bear with me. I think there’s a chance you just might come to love it, too…

“I know we’re just a little ways into our worship this morning, but I’m going to do a quick review. So far I and we have said the following words:
‘Grace and peace to you in the name of Jesus Christ!’
‘God is good, all the time!’
‘…with God on my side I’m fearless, afraid of no one and nothing.’
Whether it’s because we are in Lent, or because of what’s going on in the world, or because of other things that are stirring in my soul, I find myself asking myself (and not for the first time!), do those words –Grace…peace…God-is-good…fearless–really mean anything?

And then I answer myself, Of course they do.

But then I wonder, what? What do they really mean? How do they really affect my day-to-day life? Because they have to. They have to.

At the core of my identity is that I am a person of faith, a beloved child of God. Those words have to make a difference in the living of my life. Or they are just words….

And they are not just words—grace…peace…God-is-good…fearless—they are powerful truths about the Reality of God, the Kingdom of God, the Possibilities of God!

And as I, and we, live into the reality of these truths, as we live more and more out of these truths, I have to believe that the Kingdom of God will grow. Bit by tiny bit, moment by singular moment, interaction by individual interaction. But it will grow…

One part of that process of living into the reality of those truths–just one part—but it’s a significant part—is owning our sin. Yep, that’s another word that’s not just a word but a powerful truth—sin.

And unlike “grace” and “peace” and “Good-is-good!” it’s one we don’t like to think or talk about much.

But our not-thinking-or-talking-about-it-much—or at least the depth of the reality of it—is, I am convinced, part of what keeps us from living more deeply into God’s grace and peace and goodness!

Our reluctance to admit those things with which we struggle, those things around which we feel shame, those things for which we have either stepped deliberately off or fallen accidentally off the path of love and healing—all of those things that keep us distant from one another, from our true selves, from God—our reluctance to acknowledge, to admit, to confess those things is part of what keeps things like “grace” and “peace” and the goodness of God as simply nice words rather than deeply profound truths.

Our reluctance to consider the truth and power of our sin, both individually and corporately, is part of what keeps us from accessing and living into the truth and power of God’s grace and peace and goodness.

So(!)…now’s our chance. A chance. A chance to get real about our sin. In these moments, we have a chance to ‘fess up, to God and to ourselves—and in a few moments, to and with one another—our mistakes, our failings, our screw-ups. Our struggles, our secrets, our shame. Or even just one of those, if that’s where you need to begin.

As we do that, God can begin remove the weight of all of that from us, look us in the eyes, and whisper to us, “I know. And I still love you. Now get up and try again.”

And in that, we will begin to experience the reality of God’s goodness and peace more deeply. And those words will become truths. And God’s Kingdom will grow, first within us and then in the world around us, bit by tiny bit, moment by singular moment, interaction by individual interaction.

There is real power available in the act of confessing our sin.

I invite you now, as beloved children of God, to join me for a few moments of silent confession.

Let us pray…

And of course, a time of confession is not complete without what I like to call an Assurance of Belovedness. So know, dear one, that even in the face of full admission of your sin (or as “full” as you can muster at the moment), you are deeply and utterly loved. Always. Forever. No matter what. Know that in the name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven! Get up and get living!

—————————–
So–what do you think? Do you love it?? If not yet, keep trying. Keep returning to it. You just might surprise yourself one day…and love it.

Or maybe I’m just a little strange that way… 🙂
Deb

STILL???

by Dr. Kristina “Tina” Campbell

At the end of a recent meeting, a male clergy stood to his full height, looked me square in the eye, and announced, “Tina, now I’m going to a meeting of pastors who do not believe in the ordination of women, and I consider them to be my brothers in Christ.” And then he turned on his heel and exited the room. It felt like a drive by shooting. Like most cowards, he made sure there were no witnesses and no opportunity for confrontation. I was triggered into full blown post traumatic stress, going back to countless similar episodes that occurred during my seminary days fifty years ago. I was stunned.

Later in the day, I shared the incident with a trusted colleague, and he, too, looked me straight in the eye and said, “That was no micro-aggression. That was an all out attack.” Then he paused and said, “I’m sorry.”

I was one of the “firsts”—women to be ordained, to be accepted in my CPE program, to serve in certain roles in ecclesiastical, administrative and chaplaincy positions. Being a “first” is exhausting, lonely, and sometimes challenging beyond measure, and yet we “firsts” hope some progress has been made as a result of our efforts. I have not lost hope or determination or a sense of call, yet I find myself the only member of my full-time staff belonging to a denomination that ordains women. Sometimes it feels as if no progress has been made. Sometimes it feels like we are fighting fifty year old battles.

I get it why Jesus went to the desert to be alone. I don’t think he wanted to give up. He just needed a moment to shed a few private tears, to absorb the concept of betrayal, to reassess, to regroup, to ready himself for crucifixion. I get it why Jesus needed to stare stunned into space, allowing his doubts, fears, anger, and disappointments to wash over him. He needed that sacred desert space to regroup, restore and return to his ministry as a whole human being. I love Jesus for going to the desert and unapologetically experiencing his full humanity. I love Jesus for never saying it would be easy or without personal pain. Lent affords us the opportunity to pause, to fully feel and to prepare to return to the challenges of our faith and calling. Breathe. Bow. Weep. Restore. Return. Amen.

–Tina was ordained in 1975 and retains a faith where all are fully embraced to pursue their authentic selves and callings. She has been in the desert for over forty years.

Checklist

by Rev. Deb Worley

“I Will Light Candles This Christmas”
By Howard Thurman

I will light candles this Christmas;
Candles of joy despite all sadness,
Candles of hope where despair keeps watch,
Candles of courage for fears ever present,
Candles of peace for tempest-tossed days,
Candles of grace to ease heavy burdens,
Candles of love to inspire all my living,
Candles that will burn all the year long.

At this time of year, we talk of Santa’s checklist:
Naughty or nice?

But this poem generates a different checklist in my mind, a 2020 [and 2021!] checklist:

Sadness? Check.
Despair? Check.
Fears ever present? Check.
Tempest-tossed days and heavy burdens?
Check and, sadly, check.

What a [couple of] years this has been….A year of struggle, a year of chaos, a year of darkness.

In the midst of all of this darkness, the world needs light more than ever. The world needs your light, and my light; the world needs our light. When my light is flickering, perhaps yours can make mine stronger [as it most certainly has!]; when your light grows weak, maybe the light of another can give yours new life. Our world needs light that is shared, so that the light might be multiplied…

Our world needs us to light Thurman’s candles this Christmas, so that we might step into this season and beyond with yet another checklist:

Joy? Check!
Hope? Check!
Courage? Check!
Peace and grace and love?
Check, check, and yes, check!

In this season of darkness, we need light. We need the Light that shines in the darkness and was not overcome. We need the Light of Christ. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel!

Peace be with us all in this holy season.

Deb

12 Days of Christmas

by Rev. Victoria Ubben

The song, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” was published in England in 1780 without music (as a fun rhyme or chant) but is probably French in origin. While there are many versions of this song and many stories as to what (if any) meaning there might be to the gifts, the following is the story that my mother taught me. Many scholars of music history today are uncertain of any possible religious meaning to this song. Thus, I cannot back this up with proof from the internet or other sources. This is the story that I was taught and that I have found to be helpful to me. May this be helpful to you and your family as you journey through the Twelve Days of Christmas!

My late mother taught this easy-to-remember and fun-to-sing carol to my brother and me AND she taught us the symbolic meaning behind each “gift” given from one’s “true love.” She always told us that this carol was written as a catechism song for young Catholics. Each element in the carol is a “code” for a religious reality which children can remember. Now as adults, we still remember the symbolism that our mother taught us even to this day.

This is what my brother and I were taught:

The true love one hears in the song is not a smitten boyfriend or girlfriend but Jesus Christ, because truly Love was born on Christmas Day.
The partridge in the pear tree represents Jesus because that bird is willing to sacrifice its life to protect its young by feigning injury to draw away predators. The tree represents the wooden cross on which Jesus died.
Two turtle doves are the Old and New Testaments.
Three French hens are faith, hope, and love (1 Corinthians 13). Other traditions indicate that the three French hens represent the three kings who brought gifts (Matthew 2).
Four calling birds are the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
Five golden rings represent the first five books of the Old Testament, called the Pentateuch. (“Penta” means “Five.”)
Six geese a-laying stand for the six days of creation (Genesis 1-2).
Seven swans a-swimming represent the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit: Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy. Another source indicates the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit are wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord. They are the gifts which were to characterize the Messiah (Isaiah 11).
Eight maids a-milking are the eight beatitudes (Matthew 5).
Nine ladies dancing are the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control (Galatians 5).
Ten lords a-leaping are the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20 & Deuteronomy 5).
Eleven pipers piping stand for the eleven faithful Apostles.
Twelve drummers drumming symbolize the twelve points of belief in The Apostles’ Creed.

For hundreds of years the Christmas observance didn’t begin until Christmas Eve and didn’t end until Epiphany. So, why stop the gift-giving and the carol-singing on Christmas Day? Join my family and many others as we continue to sing joyous carols (like this one), light candles, and exchange gifts – while remembering and reciting the basics of our Christian faith and passing it all along to our children and grandchildren – for twelve more days!

Bits of this information is from:

Ann Ball, Handbook of Catholic Sacramentals.
Fr. Calvin Goodwin, FSSP, Catholic Tradition.

BUT…

Most of this came from my mother who was committed to passing her faith on to my brother and me. For that, I am so grateful.

Wilderness

by Rev. Deb Worley

“Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.”

(Isaiah 43:19, ESV)

“Wilderness,” as we all know, can mean different things to different people. Heck, it can even mean different things to the same person, at different times in their life. Wilderness is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor.

Sometimes wilderness might look like unexpected suffering, or soul-wrenching depression, or uncontrollable chaos. Or mental illness. Or cancer. Or a global pandemic. Sometimes wilderness might be found in the midst of profound grief, or deep weariness, or ongoing uncertainty. Or too many responsibilities. Or too few resources. Or not enough young families.

Sometimes wilderness might be individual; sometimes, communal. At times, it might be blessedly short-lived; at other times, seemingly and agonizingly unending.

Wilderness means different things to different people.

As people of faith, we are not exempt from experiences of wilderness in our lives, whether as individuals or as the Body of Christ. We are promised, however, that we will not go through them alone. We are promised that God will be with us.

And not only that–if we are to take Isaiah at his word, we are promised that God “will make a way in the wilderness,” that God will lead us through it, that God will open a path where it had seemed to us there was no path. We are promised that God will be with us in and through and out of the wilderness, to the other side, where “rivers in the desert” await, where there will be healing and wholeness, abundance and life.

We can’t know for sure what that path will look like, or how long it will be, or how many twists and turns and hairpin curves and hills and valleys we will pass through along the way. Nor can we know with certainty when we will step out of the wilderness and find ourselves at the edge of the river, dipping our toes in the water and inhaling deeply and recognizing that we have moved into a place of healing and abundance.

But we can be sure that we will. We can be sure that we will!

Thanks be to God for the promise of new things, new paths, new life…that come after seasons of wilderness.

Peace be with us all.

Deb

Weary

by Rev. Deb Worley

“Come to me,
all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest.”
–Jesus–
(Matthew 11:28)

Ahhhh…rest….
Who among us doesn’t need rest??

We are all weary.

Some of us might only say we’re a little tired…
Some of us might acknowledge that we’re pretty worn out…
Some of us might go so far as to say, actually, we’re exhausted…
Some of us might be drained beyond words,
on the verge of being totally depleted…

Wherever we fall on that continuum, we are all weary.

And we are all carrying heavy burdens.

For some of us those burdens might be externally apparent–
Perhaps family or work or church or other responsibilities…
Perhaps visible health concerns, known losses, or shared struggles…
For others of us our burdens might be internally held–
Perhaps hidden grief or secret shame or unspoken despair…
Perhaps unacknowledged addiction or abuse,
or long-buried resentment or rage…
For some of us–perhaps most of us–the burdens are of both types…

Whether externally apparent or internally held,
we are all carrying heavy burdens.

So what do we do? How do we get the rest that Jesus promises?
How do we let him lighten our load,
ease our burdens,
and tend to our souls?

That’s a question each of us has to answer for ourselves.

What do you do to allow space in your life for soul-tending?

What do you do to grant Jesus access to your weariness and burdens?

How do you respond to his invitation,
“Come to me…and I will give you rest?”

One of the ways I respond, when I recognize that my spirit needs tending, is by getting away to stillness and solitude. It may only be for an hour, for a hike in the nearby hills, or–when I’m both very much in need and very lucky (and the planets are in alignment!), it may be for twenty-four hours [or, as it turns out, forty-eight!], for an overnight stay/silent retreat at a nearby monastery (which is where I am as I write this, as the Our Lady of Guadalupe Abbey in Pecos–the picture below is from last night).

We are all weary, and we are all carrying heavy burdens,
and our souls all need tending.

“Come to me…and I will give you rest,” Jesus promises.

How do you respond?

Peace, and rest for our weary souls, be with us all.
Deb

Not Again…What Do We Do Now?

by Kay Klinkenborg, Church of the Palms UCC

Disappointed, angry, frustrated, discouraged, maybe even despair. Here we are again with COVID cases rising. We set our hopes and dreams on a different outcome and projected what our future for 2021 would hold. But maybe, just maybe that is what creates our pain, of not accepting ‘reality’ as it is. We had no guarantees, no promises, some stated hopes from the professional scientists. But we are in uncharted waters headed to a new land in which we haven’t lived before. And we’re most certainly grieving that it hasn’t played out as we hoped.

Where does faith and hope fit in this current ‘reality’? Right smack dab in the middle of it! For if we allow ourselves to be projecting out front of ourselves as to what will be, we set up unrealistic expectations. Faith is dealing with realistic realities, so we must practice realistic expectations for the months, possibly years ahead.

Our world prides itself that there are advanced countries with vast resources. But a fact of nature, Coronavirus, COVID has brought us to our knees. As has the ‘Red Alert of Climate Change’ announced this week by the UN report of climatic changes and predictions for the future. But that is not the only pandemic happening in our world. Disastrous weather events, fires, massive floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, famine, wars, racism, Afghanistan crisis, the rise of nationalism and white extremist groups in America and abroad. Are we overwhelmed, YES and if we aren’t, we are numb or disconnected from reality.

So, what are the realistic expectations on which we need to focus? I offer no panacea of actions, but I do offer life lessons that have brought me through tough times and documented by numerous others in memoirs and professional literature.

First: we are not alone. Numerous scripture reminders of this truth comfort us. Isaiah 43: 5 states: “Fear not for I am with you…” “FEAR NOT” is in the Bible 365 times. Isn’t it intriguing to think that thousands of years ago people were leaning on those same words just as we need them today? And there is the profound gift of the Presence of the Divine in each of us, so we are here for each other.

Second: we don’t have to have all the answers. Living with ‘unknowing’ is hard and stressful. But it is also a learned art in our spiritual journey. Life doesn’t come with guarantees. And if we are learning that for the first time…we must own our naivete. We each come learning how to cope in new ways; how to be friends and present for each other. We come learning that ‘ambiguity’, not knowing can be a personal place of growth in our faith journey. In the book, The Wisdom of Not Knowing: Discovering A Life of Wonder by Embracing Uncertainty, Dr Estelle Frankel reminds us that “spiritual evolution doesn’t take place through inquiry…but meditating with complex questions.” Sit with our questions…don’t be afraid of questions.

Third: we can do this one hard thing! Travel this journey, live with the unknown outcomes. Take one day at a time. Believe in ourselves and the strength of God that underpins the core of who we are and lives within us. We have all done hard things before we didn’t think we could do or find our way through. But we did. We are resilient! We can remain resilient. And tapping into our ingenuity and creativity and sharing that with one another is a miracle gift in time of struggle. We can be a balm to others; we can allow others to be balm to us.

Fourth: we need to ask for what we need. People can’t read our minds. If we need a phone call or a visit with a safe vaccinated person and share a cup of tea, we need to speak up. It is not a time to be shy. Yes, some of us with underlying medical conditions must limit the size of groups in which we can participate; but we can still practice safe health measures. And don’t forget our technology…phones and internet for some.

Fifth: claim and practice our creativity that each of us can embody. Erich Fromm, in Man for Himself states: “Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.” We have an opportunity to engage with the ‘extraordinary in the ordinary’ of our daily lives. From the dishes we wash, the smell of clean laundry, the food we prepare. Very mundane tasks we think; but Celtic spirituality teaches us these are the moments where the sacred insights and ‘ahh’ can pop open and bring delightful surprise. Creativity is like art…it is merely anything you do or produce or participate in that expresses who you are. You don’t have to be a formal artist, it isn’t with paint, brush, or graphic pencils…but it can be. One such experience was in a women’s group I led in Missouri; we had a share-our creativity-day. Women brought home canned goods from their gardens; a term paper written for a college class; a pie they baked for a sick friend. Crochet, knitting, quilt pieces, favorite recipes copied off to share. A letter of encouragement to their children. And the list went on. Creativity expressing who they were and how they saw themselves in the moment.

“In Jewish Kabbalah tradition, creativity is also linked with the divine realm. All forms of creative expression is linked with divine nothingness, ayin. According to Kabbalah, all wisdom, understanding, and knowledge flow from ayin. Oft quoted is Job: 28:12: ‘Wisdom emerges from nothingness [ayin}.’ “ Estelle Frankel, The Wisdom of Not Knowing; p 124.

What we fear about being stymied, bored, and restricted once again is we are about ‘nothing’; not able to do what we hoped for…again what are the realistic expectations?

Sixth: take a serious look at the skills you brought forth at other times of struggles. Lean back into what worked before. Maybe it was prayer, quiet time alone, talk with a trusted friend, reading spiritual literature or the Bible. Take a virtual walk with your computer in this time of heat waves…look up beautiful scenes and use your imagination to be in that place absorbing that beauty. Grab a favorite book or picture album off your shelf. It can change a gloomy day into one of joy. We all underestimate the skills we have used to survive in hard times. I found that consistently with my clients and spiritual directees. When I helped them begin to list ‘how did you do that?” they are astounded at the skills they brought forth to make things work. We function so unconsciously many times, we don’t claim all that has taken place that reveals quite a remarkable coping individual.

Seventh: it is not an abnormal reaction to these times to need to seek out professional help; even for a few sessions to talk with someone neutral. We are our own worst enemies in judging our coping skills as lacking. Seek out a Spiritual Companion/Director or Counselor. Don ‘t expect that any of us needs to go this alone. It is a highly tense unexpected set of world circumstances; none of us has the map. But we can journey together, and support can make all the difference.

Eighth: don’t be afraid of reality. Look this square in the face. This won’t change tomorrow or the next day. We must have realistic expectations…the hoped for, dreamed about end to this is not visible. We must live in reality to be healthy and take adequate care of our bodies, minds, and souls. Living out into the future is wasted energy; now I am not saying we don’t make plans…but let us learn to make plans to will require us to be fluid and flexible in these times. Learning to ‘be in the moment like never before’ can become a mantra, a sustenance, a relief.

Nadia Bolz-Weber, ordained minister and public inspirational speaker wrote on her monthly e-letter a week ago:

“Because actual reality is also the only place where actual joy is to be found. If joy is delayed until a preferred future comes about, we set ourselves up for despair. But if there is hope in THIS day. Joy in THIS reality. This life. This body. This heart, then certainly we can prevail.

We can. We will. We are.

Be gentle with yourselves right now.” Nadia Bolz-Weber

I have no doubt we can continue on this hard journey, find our way, find joy where we least expect it, and experience a deeper faith and understanding of the Divine within us and others. We can do this one hard thing: look reality in the face, practice our faith, and be honest about our struggles on this unexpected tumultuous journey.

© Kay F. Klinkenborg, MA August 2021
Spiritual Director/Counselor
Retired RN, LMFT, Clinical Member AAMFT
(Assoc. for Marriage & Family Therapists)
Member Church of the Palm, Sun City, AZ

9/11 and COVID

by Dr. Kristina “Tina” Campbell

“We live in a city named after a great mythic bird who majestically rises with open wings out of a pile of smoldering ashes, and it is in this spirit of resilience that I record the religious community’s response to September 11, 2001. Ultimately, September 11^th will become a very personal experience for those of us who have conscious memory of an autumn day when acts of terrorism altered the course of human history and thought. Historians will tell of the events of the day, including the political, military, and economic climate. It is my desire to record the response of the faithful, much of which runs counter to the dominant cultural perspective. Throughout the ages, people of faith have raised a dissident voice, and it is this voice that is recorded in these pages.” This is the opening paragraph of a document entitled Out of the Ashes: The Faithful Respond to September 11, 2001, the result of a grant I received from the UCC National Office of Justice and Witness. I felt it important to create an historical document of the faithful’s response to this life altering event, and to take special care to record the response of the Southwest Conference of the United Church of Christ.

Bernice Powell Jackson, Executive Minister for Justice and Witness Ministries for the United Church of Christ reminded us, “In a sermon at the Riverside Church in New York City exactly one year before his assassination, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said these prophetic words: We can no longer afford to worship the god of hate or bow before the altar of retaliation. The oceans of history are made turbulent by the ever-rising tides of hate…. If we do not want to act, we shall surely be dragged down the long, dark, and shameful corridors of time reserved for those who possess power without compassion, might without morality, and strength without sight.“

The United Church of Santa Fe borrowed words from the last homily of Archbishop Oscar Romero. These words were spoken the day before he was assassinated in San Salvador in 1980: “All that we are and all that we do is in God’s hands. What that means for us, my sisters and brothers, at this time is to pray very much, and to be very united with God.”

Edith Guffey, Associate General Minister of the United Church of Christ issued these words: “Although we are but one of the many expressions of who God is in our world, we are mindful of our call and our denomination’s rich heritage as peacemakers.”

Dr. John Herman preached at Desert Palm United Church of Christ in Tempe: “This is a dangerous time for our nation-not simply for us today, but for generations not even born. We need great wisdom to avoid precipitating a bloodbath that could undermine our own national principles of equality and justice and which could soil our name for all history. What we do need is authentic patriotism.”

The Reverend Ruthanne Cochran shares: “I have sadness within me for all the people whose lives are being changed, work destroyed, dreams shattered, and livelihoods uncertain. We work a lifetime to create reality out of our dreams, and for reasons beyond our control, the dreams are sometimes shattered. Whatever happens to the people in New York, Washington, and Pennsylvania, they cannot live in the ashes. They have to rebuild and re-dream, rekindle our ashes of what might have been. We have to rebuild, re-dream, rekindle our feelings and be open to God knocking at our hearts. We can’t sit around in the ash. We have to take some time to think about what has happened, and then we have to open our ears for another knock at our hearts. It shall come!!”

COVID has presented communities of faith with many of the same challenges as 9/11, and I feel it is important to record the faithful’s response during the pandemic. Our response will be measured far beyond the challenge of technology. Some questions that might be addressed are:

How did we extend pastoral care to the COVID First Responders?

How did we extend prayerful support to our local hospitals?

How did we provide comfort to those who lost loved ones during COVID and were unable to gather for memorial services?

How did our preaching address the fear of illness and death?

What specific programs did we create to address the needs created by COVID?

How do we move forward in hope?

Dr. Campbell, UCC clergy, served as Associate Staff for Social Concerns for the Southwest Conference of the United Church of Christ at the time of 9/11, and served as a Staff Chaplain at Phoenix Children’s Hospital throughout the COVID pandemic.

Wait—what??

by Rev. Deb Worley

“I could ask the darkness to hide me
or the light around me to become night,
but even darkness is not dark for you,
and the night is as bright as the day….”

(Psalm 139:11-12)

Wait—what??

“I could ask the darkness to hide me
or the light around me to become night…”

I don’t know about you, but I tend to want the exact opposite–
generally, I want to get out of the darkness;
I’m eager for the night to become day,
for the darkness to turn to light…

Why was the psalmist wanting the darkness to hide him?
Why, if he was in the light, was he wanting that light to become dark?

I can’t help but wonder if he was feeling ashamed of something–
ashamed, and wanting to hide away in the dark….

Or perhaps he was feeling depressed–
and wanting to keep others from seeing it….

Maybe he was feeling
unwanted, unworthy,
unlikable, unlovable–
and imagining
that if he couldn’t see himself,
his feelings of wretchedness
would be similarly invisible….

Those kinds of feelings
can make us want to hide,
can make us afraid
of anyone looking too deeply into us,
can cause us to wish
that any light that happens to be shining on us
would magically turn to darkness,
suddenly turn to night….

Those kinds of feelings can cause us
to not want to be seen,
to feel ashamed to be known,
to feel unworthy of being loved….

Those kinds of feelings, I can imagine,
might lead us to want
to be hidden in the darkness,
to be hidden by the darkness….

“I could ask the darkness to hide me
or the light around me to become night…”

Hmmm…I think I get it….

And yet…
the psalmist realizes
that even in the darkness,
he won’t be hidden from God.
Even if the light turns to night,
God will still see him.

God will still see him,
and seeing him, God will love him.

God will still see him–and his shame and depression–
and God will love him.

God will still see him–and his feelings of being unworthy and unlovable–
and God will love him.

The psalmist realizes that
no matter the darkness of the night,
no matter the darkness of his soul,
the brightness of God’s love will shine on him still.
Period.

He need not fear the light,
he need not fear being seen,
he need not long to be hidden by the dark.

He is seen by God, and he is loved.
Period.

So it is for us.

May the peace of God be with us all.
Amen.
Deb

Come and See

by Rev. Victoria S. Ubben

“But I did not believe the reports until I came and my own eyes had seen it. Not even half had been told me; … wisdom and prosperity far surpass the report that I had heard.”
(This is Victoria’s loose translation of 1 Kings 10:7.)

For many years now, I have been drawn to Loretto Chapel and its miraculous staircase in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Having lived a bit in Kentucky earlier in my life, I had visited the motherhouse of the Sisters of Loretto in Nerinx (near Bardstown), Kentucky, and had heard the tales of the sisters there heading out the “wild west” to educate girls. I never imagined that years later I would relocate to Santa Fe and then be employed at what is now called Loretto Chapel Museum.

Like the translation above of 1 Kings 10:7, the Queen of Sheba had heard about the accomplishments and fame of King Solomon, but she did not believe it until she came and with her own eyes had seen it all. Many have heard about the miraculous staircase at Loretto Chapel, but some must make the journey to see it with their own eyes. Hundreds of guests flock to Loretto Chapel daily to gaze upon this staircase (constructed in late 1879, after the chapel had been completed a year prior in 1878). People of faith call this staircase “miraculous” because we do not know for sure who built it, how it can stand with no center support, or the wood from which it has been made. There are several theories about these things, but the Sisters of Loretto could live with mystery (and so can I).

Every day that I work at Loretto Chapel, I hear dozens of tales about how modern-day pilgrims have traveled to this remarkable place. Here is one such story:

Just last week, a young Spanish-speaking man came to visit our chapel and was trying to ask me questions about its miraculous staircase. Pedro’s English skills are much better than my Spanish skills, so I let him take the lead on this conversation. Pedro was accompanied by two very elderly people who appeared to be well-worn from lots of sunshine, decades of hard work, and whatever trials and tribulations they might have undergone in life. Pedro told me that these two people were his grandparents and he had driven them in his car all the way from a village outside of Mexico City to Santa Fe. His grandparents had just one wish before they died: to see the miraculous staircase at Loretto Chapel with their own eyes. Pedro looked so young to be taking his grandparents on a journey like this. Whatever his age, I do think it is noteworthy that a teenager would drive his elderly grandparents from central Mexico to Santa Fe to see Loretto Chapel and its staircase before they die!

Pedro and his grandparents had heard of Loretto Chapel and its miraculous staircase, but they wanted to see it with their own eyes. Pedro was able to tell me that the mystery and beauty of this well-constructed staircase far surpassed any reports that they had heard.

Why do religious pilgrims of all ages and of all faiths make long, difficult journeys to sacred places? What draws people to these places? Is it the spirit of God that calls us? Or is it the voices of our ancestors that beckon us? Could it be both? Where has God’s still-speaking voice called you? When you finally arrive at such a sacred space, what do you do? Take photos? Buy souvenirs at the gift shop? Sit quietly and meditate? Like Pedro and his grandparents… do you light a candle and say a prayer of gratitude for mystery, beauty, and a miracle that we may never understand? Pedro and his grandparents were expecting to encounter God inside Loretto Chapel… and I am certain that they did.

(If you do not know much about Loretto Chapel and its miraculous staircase, here is a short video clip to whet your appetite!)